Blah blah blah…….

Hmm. Somehow, everything has gone stupid. Yes. I shall use the word stupid. Its mostly about roses. Yea. Roses. Sigh. Its all a miscommunication. A huge miscommunication.

Its gone so complicated till I have no idea how to explain it. Needless to say, its shit now and the blame is on a friend of mine. Its not entirely the persons fault although the person did have a huge role to play.

Ahh. Its so complicated. Oh well. Nothing ever comes out right.

I had dinner with a good friend of mine today and I was thinking. The person made alot of sense. The state of mind that I am in right now can be extremely damaging. Not only to me but to others around me as well. I should put my little foot down.

I hate feeling confused. I hate feeling blur. I just happen to hate so many things right now. For example, the way people think. I hate it that they never see it as their fault. I hate it that they always bitch about others. I hate it that they can’t keep a secret. I hate it that they can’t control their behavior. I hate it when they lie.

Why is it always the case where there are always stupid things that happen to you and not anyone else? Why is it that problems never stop coming? Why am I confused? So many questions. So little answers.

I want to breathe. I want to just chill. I want to look back the the  past 2 months and relive the happy moments that I had. Its not that I’m unhappy. Its just that I am looking for something more in this life.

I believe it doesn’t end here. I believe I have a long way more to go. God put me here for a reason. I think I know what I have to do, I just have to wait for the right time.

Sigh. I just heard a sentence which made me.. sniff sniff.. it was " we’re in KL now Janie ". KL.. Oh KL.. Hmmmm… If you only knew, what you put me through.

I have three words to say. I am loved. I really am. I am sincerely thankful for that. Kinda stupid of me not to realize that in the first place.

I am loved by people who mean the world to me. My dear Sandra, wanna know something? Without you in my life, my life would be meaningless. Remember how I told you, everytime life gets shitty and I start doing stupid things, somehow, you will suddenly come into my life and make things right. Ur an angel in disguise. ^_^

As for USSJ, you guys are my life. WIthout you three, I would not be me. You guys keep me sane. You guys are in my life for a reason. We may get crazy alot, but its a good kinda crazy and it keeps me for trying to kill people. Haha. Ur 3 great gurls.

My family in Sabah, you guys made me realize so many things. I’m a changed person. For example, I can take the bus out! I can actually walk about alone. I like the feeling. Haha. Basically, I dun need anyone to help me with anything. I can almost do everything on my own.

I am who I am, if you don’t like who I am, all ur gonna get is who I am.. ^_^

Before I start, Far, lol. Ur so funny la. Of course I got you something.. ^_^ When will u be free? Come to Starbucks and I’ll pass it to you.

Okay, so, I’m feeling meaningless. Today has been a great adventure. The whole day my lower back has been aching. Its the price I have to pay for being so klutzy. Partly because of Mount. K. I shouldn’t have gone up cuz it hurt, and look at me now. I’m in pain!

I feel meaningless because of my actions towards someone. I do things to be appreciated but I never feel appreciated. There is never a thank you or a thats so nice of you or thats so thoughtful of you. Not even an sms. Haha. Many would be wondering, "why the hell you give a fcuk". All I can answer is, "because".

Its not that I want something in return, I don’t. All I ever wanted was to be cared about. Care about me like how you care about others. Easy. It doesn’t take much to keep me happy. By appreciating me, anyone can make me happy.

Its like when Ulrica met me, she gave me something for Christmas. That was so thoughtful of her. Shows that she was actually thinking about me when I was in Sabah and appreciates our friendship. It wasn’t only that, she also called me a whole lot while I was there to check up on me.

Or like how Yeen and Yan was always there for me. My gurlfrenz forever. USSJ ^_^. So would it be better if I stayed in Sabah?

So now, I’m stuck over here, feeling utterly meaningless. Thank you so much for making me feel this way. In a way I feel honoured, cuz you only do this to me, and nobody else. I hope you feel great making me feel meaningless.

As most know, I’m back, yes, I’m back in Klang. Lol. Sigh. Before i start about how my life is getting on now, I just wanna say, I miss Sabah so much. Lol, wanna know something funny? A part of me wished I never came back. I feel happier over there. With my Sabah family. My wonderful Sabah family~

Its because of certain complicated issues I’m facing now. Oh well~ I can’t run forever right? So yea, I’m facing my issues now. Its not all great, and its not all that bad. Its just alright, so I can’t complain. One step at a time.

As if things couldn’t get more complicated. Grrr.

In a way, its great to be back. Back with everything, many things have changed but its still pretty much the same ( I’m not making much sense, am I? ) since I left. I am however, picking up where I last left off. All the wonderful friendships that I have back here. Its all good.

I hate the traffic jams though. Other than that, its all great! Food is great, mamak is wonderful! Haha. The wheather sux though. Its friggin hot over here.

I’m sleepy~~ Nite nite….

Okay, so looking back on my life this past few months, the conclusion would be, StarTeam KK Kicks ass!

If I could be anywhere in this world, I would choose Sabah. If I could be with anyone in this world, I would be with my new found family over here..~ The rest dun jealous ya? Lol.

Well, its because, susah susah sama sama, senang senang sama sama.. It would be great to have the rest of my family over here, my dahlink, the Yeen Yan twinz and also Sand. Only then would it be complete!

I dunno if I mentioned I was in Labuan. Lol.

Now this is me with all the.. ahemm ahemm alcohol~

This is my ahemm ahemm.. Po tential husband.. everyone meet kevin!.. hmm.. anyway, im juz advertising for him. anyone interested? pls visit sbux cp kk. will be here for a short time only!~

Welcome to alcoholics annonymous ^_^

The BOYZ. Lokman, Jazil and Kevin~ After fifo

This is where I live over here.. a fancy schmancy place ~~~

The boyz house.. which looks like the girls house anyway.. its d same duhh ~!

Anyway, I had a great way to begin this year and I hope it stays great!.. Love everything over here. Unknown to most, ……….

Ever sat down and realize how every new year brings changes? It brings new people and new situations to your life.

For me, the end of 2006 and the beginning of 2007 has made me realize so many things.

I actually found out who I can lean on when I’m in need. Who are the people who wil be there for me.

I’ve also learnt that people can only hurt you if you let them. =) To all the people who helped me realize who I am today, thank you.

I may not know the direction my life is taking, but I sure do know that I’m gonna get there just fine =)

I don’t know when I’ll be going back and right now, I’m heavy hearted. Once I leave, everything will be dferent. Haha, for starters, the big change would be not having boys as my roomies.

Believe it or not, guys can be neater than girls!

I’m gonna miss my potential husband. Lol, the guy can cook, clean and kick ass! Blekk.. Hmm.. He also happens to resemble a vampire. Hardy har har. Scary in a way.. =P But I’ve got my eyes on someone else..~~ hehe..

Aihh, its freezing in warisan square right now.. so ill just continue at home.. So tired ~~ =P