Blah blah blah…….

You. You may never know what you actually mean to me. I try and I try to make things better but it just gets more complicated.

I remembered the first time we actually spent time talking. The feeling was amazing. Its like finally, someone who I could actually talk to. Someone who would understand me for me and not for what they thought I was.

You were the only one who ever said that I looked stunning. I will never forget that.

The first time I thought there was something amazing about you was when you instictively took my hand so that I wouldn’t fall. That moment, you have no idea how I felt. Undescribable.

When you indirectly said goodbye to me, I felt angry. Really angry. Its like you never knew how much you have done for me. How much you’ve changed me. How much you’ve taught me about life.

Today is when I say goodbye. Goodbye to everything that you’ve done for me. Maybe I will get on with my life. Maybe I won’t. Truth is, you will never find out. Unknown to most, you are far from here. Far from me but close to my heart.

It sounds weird doesn’t it? Thats just the way things are. I hate life.

There are so many things which I want to share but most are too personal to type. If you knew what I was going through, you would understand. I am now left in the dark.

I am alone. Which ever decisions I make, I face it alone. I live for no one but myself. I used to think I lived for someone else. Perhaps it was someone in my distant past. Or my distant future. I have no idea. I do not know at all.

Truth is, I don’t even know what I’m doing now. I feel its right but at times, I feel its wrong and I should have not done it. Sigh.

Why are all my decisions mostly wrong? I dont know. I dont know at all. I do know one thing, I am who I am,even if you dont like who I am, all you’re gonna get is, who I am.